But, before I do that, I want to throw out a little disclaimer that I am not a therapist. Dont stop taking your medication and do not think that you can do this work by yourself. The people I am speaking are the people who maybe have a low grade depression or maybe who have even had a long-term depression and are looking for other solutions to add to their therapy and to their medications. So, disclaimer out of the way.
Okay. On to the “3 Ds of Depression.”
The first “D” is a two-edged sword. On one side it’s past disappointments – and that can mean trauma, grief, a complete meltdown in some kind of a relationship or a loss. The flip-side of that is present day dissatisfaction. They look a lot alike except that you may want to ask yourself, “Am I really ruminating mentally about all of the things that didn’t go the way I wanted them to in the past?” or “Am I resisting and dissatisfied with what is going on here in the present?”
When I look at the statistics about who gets depressed, it’s not surprising to me that it’s middle-age women who, perhaps, realize that they’ve given so much of their life to their families or just a job and not family. So there’s a sense of dissatisfaction and there’s often that sense of disappointment (i.e., “I thought I’d be in a different place by now.” or “I thought my finances would be better.” or “I thought my health would be better.”) You name it, right? There are lots of grief aspects there.
So, again, the two-edged sword is disappointment from the past and dissatisfaction with what is in the present.
I want to have you write down what you think about all day long. Are you thinking, “It shouldn’t be like this” or “How they shouldn’t have done that” or “How this is not ever going to change” and you start feeling that hopelessness? So make some notes about what those things are and begin observing that thinking about these things doesn’t change them.
Now, when you do EFT and TET Tapping I want you to think about those things because we need to get into the core of the trauma. We need to go through the Five Aspects of Grief as well. And as we start dissolving the disappointment and we start assessing our degree of dissatisfaction, we’re able to come to a place where we can calm your mind down and it will stop feeding those negative chemicals to our body and our brain.
Did you know that depression actually shrinks your Amygdala? It actually shrinks your brain. If it’s left untreated and you aren’t finding a new way out of those thought patterns, you’re actually becoming your own “head shrinker.” Bahhh
The second “D” is disconnection.
I don’t know about you, but it seems like every time I have a grief incident or a trauma incident, I isolate. And if I’m ruminating a lot about my grief or my disappointment or the horrible way my parents treated me…whatever that is, I’m so inside myself that I’m really letting my energy flow backwards. I’m not being open and expressing. I’m not living up to my full potential. And that creates an imbalance in my physical body and energy.
The disconnetion is huge. We have to heal the mental part before we can get the emotional part going. And once the emotional part starts going, the heart starts opening. Miracles happen. And you start wanting to be connected.
Here’s the third “D.” This is a really scary one. If we don’t address these things, there becomes this element of despair.
In our despair, we start thinking it will never change – raise your hand if you’ve had that thought – so why am I bothering…the EGO mind just starts ruminating on how it’s just going to keep getting awful and it’s never going to get better and, oh, it literally steals the life from every single moment.
So I want you to think about this. This is kind of a “tweetable” thing…
Oppression is when someone outside of us stifles our creativity and our life force. Depression is when we do it to ourselves.
So, if I were working with you one-to-one, the thing we’d want to look at is all the ways that the EGO mind is rehashing all the horrible, pitiful, sad, disgusting, grieving, traumatic events – all legit I might add; I’m not discounting them – but it’s the ruminating on them that creates the depression. And that makes us more sensitive to this moment and being dissatisfied with what is.
Someone said once (and I tried to find the quote, but I want to share it with you) that “my happiness depends on my ability to stop waiting for a different past.”
A lot of the work we do at The EGO Tamer® Academy and in my other programs is exactly that. We’re looking to forgive the past, fully step into this present moment and then be able to walk forward.
Even though I’ve been really depressed and I realize it’s my thinking that’s creating this depressed energy. It may or may not be one of these three Ds that Jan’s talking about.
I’m open and receptive to the idea that thinking the same old thoughts will only create the same old experiences.
(Take a nice, deep breath)
Karate Chop:
Even though I’ve been thinking that I’m depressed – for a while now – and it’s possible that just thinking that thought makes me feel depressed, I’d like to be open and willing to explore these three Ds and see what my thinking is doing to my energetic body.
(Nice deep breath and still karate chopping.)
Even though depression is a chemical and physiological experience that generally starts with thinking and I hadn’t really thought about the power that I have to change all of this by doing the work necessary to release the past, liberate my future and be willing to heal whatever is at the core of this recurring depression.
(Take a deep breath)
Top of the Head:
Maybe someone didn’t treat me right.
Between the Eyes:
It didn’t feel good and I’m still angry about it.
Side of the Eyes:
Maybe they hurt me and it took 20 minutes for them to cause the harm.
Under the Eyes:
How long have I been rehearsing that memory?
Under the Nose:
How many times have I injured my own energy body by remembering and re-living it?
Above the Chin:
I’m open to this idea today that I can change my thinking and change my life.
Collar Bones:
I’m really, really ready to get out of this depressed state.
Under the Arm:
Just going shopping’s not going to fix it.
Bottom of the Ribs:
It’s not like I can just snap out of it. There’s something hurting deep inside of me and I need to find it a fix it.
(Nice deep breath and back to karate chopping.)
Karate Chop:
Even though depression “may run in my family;” even though I may have inherited some genes that like to stay depressed, I realize that my DNA and my cells are living, creative energy. They’re filled with God Source and light. I’d like to start filling all of those little God cells with hope and forgiveness and love.
(Nice deep breath and still karate chopping.)
Even though depression feels really, really crappy and, occasionally, it makes me not want to get out of bed in the morning and, almost every time, it makes me focus more on my pain that being of service to the world…
I deeply and completely love and honor that sometimes depression is also depletion. Maybe I’m exhausted and need a break. No one can change this except for me.
(Nice deep breath and still karate chopping.)
Even though there’s this part of me that likes having a label like “depression;” I may even use it sometimes to get out of things I don’t want to deal with; maybe I feel like it’s a character flaw or a weakness; it’s a symptom of unresolved pain.
But, the news I’m learning today is that I can resolve the pain. We can heal this and I can move on.
Top of the Head:
It’s worth investing my time, energy and attention in this.
Between the Eyes:
This disconnectedness and despair…
Side of the Eyes:
Leads to lack of life.
Under the Eyes:
Not a single soul who has ever left this planet too early (suicide)…
Under the Nose:
Was in a happy place.
Above the Chin:
Their EGO mind had convinced them that there was no reason to live.
Collar Bones:
If I’m skirting with those thoughts, I need to get help ASAP (as soon as possible).
Under the Arm:
I want to realize that there are people who love me, who are willing to help me and that I so deserve it.
Bottom of the Ribs:
Releasing the depression that has been lingering over me.
(Take a deep breath.)
Top of the Head:
My EGO mind is probably resisting a lot of this.
Between the Eyes:
I cannot be depressed and not have a huge amount of psychological reversal.
Side of the Eyes:
Jan calls it Persistent Resistance…I don’t want to hear it. Don’t tell me that. You don’t know. You don’t understand. You’re right.
Under the Eyes:
So come work with me and let’s talk about it.
Under the Nose:
If I stay stuck like this and I keep going backwards…
Above the Chin:
I’ll never find more joy rehashing these hurtful thoughts.
Collar Bones:
I’d like to imagine there’s another chapter for me.
Under the Arm:
That my past does not dictate my future.
Bottom of the Ribs:
Releasing depressed thoughts, feelings and energy.
(Deep breath and let’s do one more anchoring round.)
Top of the Head:
Practicing thinking about the things that are good in my life.
Between the Eyes:
Looking at all the joy and love that is in this world.
Side of the Eyes:
Knowing that even the darkest grief and trauma can be healed.
Under the Eyes:
I need to step out and take action.
Under the Nose:
Being sidelined in this life is not what I came for.
Above the Chin:
And maybe I believe that one day I will stand before the God that created me and have to answer for this life.
Collar Bones:
I want to leave all regrets, any self-pity and any feeling that I’m a victim in this life behind me.
Under the Arm:
Balancing my mind, body and energy.
Bottom of the Ribs:
Open and receptive to more light and hope and faith.
(Take a deep breath.)
And do reach out to someone. If not me, that’s fine. I get it. Please reach out to someone to help you take your life back because this is a stuck state and the world needs you. You have people around you who need you. And, more importantly, your soul is here for a purpose and I want you to fulfill that purpose.
Have a blessed day!
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